The Scars We Choose

"We all live with the scars we choose.  They might hurt like hell, but they all make us stronger."

We are who we are because of where we have been.  Are all things good in our lives?  Probably not.  But are they all bad?  Heck no!  And if you think that they you definitely need to go outside and enjoy some sunshine tomorrow :)

When I was younger I was lucky enough to have a grandmother who lived across the street from me.  Sometimes, when things at home got tough I would dash across the street, ring the doorbell and wait for grandma to let me in.  We would talk and I would often shed a tear while she listened to what was upsetting me.  She always said to me that what was happening to me right then might seem hard, even impossible.  But there was always a reason.  Someday I would need my experiences from today to help me tomorrow.

The thing that I am getting at, that I have learned this past week is that we have choices to make.  The scars we carry are of our own choosing.  I carry some big scars.  Scars from high school, scars from friendships, scars from events in my family's life.  I carry some more recent scars that were almost healed and then cut open again.  But I have decided that the band-aid I put over these latest scars was not enough.  I need to let them heal, so that they may begin to fade.  I don't think I want them to completely go away, I may forget an important lesson that someday I will need.  But its time.

So I have peeled off the band-aid, applied some medicine to the cut and am hoping it heals.  It will take time.  And if may be awhile before the scar goes from bright pink to a dull skin tone.  But it will get there.  This, is a big step for me.  I partially have to credit this blog for reminding me, especially in this situation, that a band-aid is a quick fix.  Not a long term solution.  That I need to let go.  Because this trial is not the end all, be all.  It is a bump in a very long road.  Because there are so many things in life that I might miss out on.  Like the sunset.

"We all live with the scars we choose.  They may hurt like hell.  But they all make us stronger."

          

Wordy Wednesday

It's Wednesday.  For many, it's one of the busier days of the week.  You realize all the work that must be done before Friday.  Maybe you have commitments in the evening that tie you up.  Maybe you are just tired after a couple long days at work.  

Regardless, Wordy Wednesday here at 'The Sunset Won't' is a quote, short passage or verse that I enjoy and I want to pass along to you.  This week's quotes are from The Bride Quartet Series of novels by Nora Roberts.  So here is this week's Wordy Wednesday installment:

"Mac had her bitch on.  We didn't want to play."

"Potholes and bumps?  Welcome to the world.  Every road has them.  They're there to be navigated, avoided, driven over or through to the other side.  Your problem is you keep driving straight into the pothole that is your mother, and letting that wreck the rest of the trip.  She's not to blame for your poor navigation skills.  You are."

A woman with romance in her life lived as grandly as a queen, because her heart was treasured.

“She’s the light.  Before, you can fumble around in the dark, or manage in the dim.  You don’t even know it’s dim because that’s the way it’s always been.  But then, she’s the light.  Everything changes.  If the light shuts off, or worse, if you’re stupid enough to shut it off yourself, it’s a hell of a lot darker than it was before.  I think, to get the light back, you have to give her a reason.  What you say is one part, but what you do, that’s the big one.  I think.” 

–Carter to Jack talking about finding the "one", and possibly losing it

“But I guess I need to know I’m the one.  I can’t work my way into being the one for him.  

I just have to be the one.” -Laurel to Mac (Part of the quartet of girlfriends)

Renewing Your Life, Dr. Phil Style

It's the end of a week day.  The school day is finished, which means my job as a substitute teacher for the day is done.  I head home, empty my lunch box, pour myself some kind of beverage, unpack my bag, charge my laptop, change into comfier clothes and watch a little TV.  A few weeks ago Oprah had a special celebrating the 10th Anniversary of O Magazine.  I decided to go out and buy the issue.   In the magazine various people (including Suze Orman, Dr. Oz, Nate Berkus...) created lists of 10 things having to do with their field.  Dr. Phil created a 10 Step Life Renewal Plan.  I really liked the questions he posed and found myself thinking about my answers.  I thought I would share his plan with you with some of my own reactions mixed in:

1) Does the way you spend your time reflect who you are?

If I were to make a list of my top five priorities in my life right now (family, friends, faith, finding a job and discovering myself) do the hours I devote to these each week reflect their importance in my life?  If I spend an hour a week talking to friends or getting together with them is that reflective of the value I place on friends in my life?  Obviously not.  So I know that I need to adjust my time so that I can live my life according to who I want to be.  

2) Does your Blackberry (cell phone, laptop) get more attention than your family and friends?

While I don't have a crack-berry, I do spend an exorbitant amount of time on my laptop.  And my cell phone is always at my side.  Perhaps you have a Blackberry that you are always on.  Dr. Phil encourages you to switch off your gadgets during private moments so you can completely focus on the personal connections you are making.

3) Are you nursing a grudge or two?

Um.  Actually, yes I am.  A couple big ones in fact.  I may say I have let go.  But I know differently.  There is a still a part of my that is upset.  Dr. Phil says that we should "let bygones be bygones and free yourself from the emotions that weigh you down.  

For example: Recently one of my college roommates asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.  I don't have many friends, and I was obviously super excited.  She also had asked that I be their 'Wedding Planner.'  Not a problem.  I was super happy to do it.  The next day, she tells me she couldn't decide between me and another friend so she would like me to be an attendant but still plan her wedding.  I asked for a day to think about it.  I was disappointed (I think rightfully so) since I was no longer a bridesmaid, but I would have said yes and it would have been great.  20 minutes later she tells me that there is too much drama and she and her mom no longer want me to plan the wedding.  I sent her a message letting her know that I was hurt, but would have been okay with some processing time.  She has now ceased all communications, and I bet I will be lucky to receive and invite to the wedding.  Did I mentioned she did this to me on the eve of the one-year anniversary of my Uncle's suicide?  No, I don't think I did.  And neither did she.  Not a word about it.  So, I am holding a grudge.  But is the grudge hurting me more than its hurting her?  I think maybe it is.  So it's time to let it go.

4) Who should be in your life?

Dr. Phil said about this step, "Phase out any so-called friends who offer only criticism and negative energy. Surround yourself with people you admire, who believe in you and want you to succeed."  I think this is great.  And something that we all need to remember.  I think everyone has that one friend who talks to us about all the bad.  I look at that as me being the only person they can talk to about it.  But if you have lots of negative friends, people who don't seem to believe in you.  Cut the cord.  Pull the plug.  Life is too precious to spend time with people who shouldn't be there, or don't want to be there.

5) Have you typecast yourself?

Perhaps you are a mom and love the responsibilities that come with it.  But you are more than just "mom."  "Ask yourself if one role is draining away all your energy, leaving other expressions of your authentic self unfulfilled," says Dr. Phil.  I am a teacher.  A daughter.  A sister.  A friend.  A youth group leader.  The first college graduate in my family.  Am I typecasting myself?  Am I putting all my eggs in one basket so to speak?  Is being a daughter and a sister taking away my energy to be a friend?  Who is my authentic self?  Am I letter her out?

6) What battle are you fighting?

This is a life step that really resonated with me.  Am I really that mad at previously mentioned friend, or am I partially blaming her for the pain of a past friendship gone wrong?  Are you really doing what's best for you child, or are you parenting with a chip on your shoulder left over from your own childhood?  I LOVE this reminder from Dr. Phil, "Remember: You are not a prisoner of your legacy."  So when you are fighting with someone, disagreeing over something, hurt by another's actions.  What battle are you really fighting? 

7) How can you live greener?

I have to admit I am not a very green person.  I take long showers.  I used plastic water bottles and often throw them without reusing them.  So I need to pinpoint changes that I can make now.  How can I live greener?  Well I can reuse water bottles.  I can carpool more often.  These are steps I can take to live a little greener.  So that I can live on the earth, not so much off of it.

8) What are your goals?

I am a list person.  Making a list helps me reach my goals better than just will-power alone.  If I see it written down I work harder.  Making specific goals and having a timeline makes me more successful in reaching those goals.

9) Who is standing in your way?

"The answer may be you," says Dr. Phil.  And, he may be right.  Sometimes I am too hard on myself and hold myself back.  Treat yourself with kindness and respect.

10) What one thing can you do for yourself everyday?

Maybe you are a bath person.  And a 20 minute bath can change your day.  For me it's often reading a fun book.  Not something I need to read for teaching or job hunting.  But a fun book.  "Every day is a new opportunity to pay attention to your own needs and make choices you feel good about."

I am sharing this list because I felt it fit so well with the theme of this blog.  It's a list that helps your renew your life.  Find the happy.  Enjoy the moments that you have.  Because many things in life can wait, but The Sunset Won't.  Take a minute to reflect on the 10 steps.  Is there one you struggle with?  

I'm Amazed

I am amazed.  I have said before I started blogging not really knowing what I was getting into.  What in the world would I blog about each week?  Would I have enough to say?  Would anyone care?  

I decided to blog semi-anonymously.  I wasn't sure what friends and family would think about what I say so I figured it was better to not tell them.  I have one friend who knows that I blog and I don't think B reads this.  If she does, "Hey B!"  

Why am I saying this?  Because I'm amazed that 14 strangers have decided to follow my blog.  Perhaps there are others who read this regularly and just aren't followers (please follow me, just kidding.  Sort of.)  I have thanked my readers before, but I want to do it again!  THANK YOU!  

For someone who thought she would not have enough to say, to blog about, I have to laugh.  I have a list of twenty-five or so topics that I want to write about.  So keep coming back, please :)  There is more to come.  And if you ever have an idea I would love to hear it.  If you like what you read spread the word.  I think that in the blogging world its important to share the blogs we enjoy with other people.  I have discovered lots of great blogs through 20sb.com and through other blogs.  Please check out some blog suggestions on the right hand column to see some of the blogs I enjoy reading each week.

I love flair, and so I made a badge for this page (so if you feel like it grab a badge).  If you have a blog button/badge please let me know so I can add it to my page of flair!

Coming soon is more from my Happy List, and talk about friends, family, being thankful, and things that are on my mind.

Have a wonderful afternoon!

Wordy Wednesday

It's Wednesday.  For many, it's one of the busier days of the week.  You realize all the work that must be done before Friday.  Maybe you have commitments in the evening that tie you up.  Maybe you are just tired after a couple long days at work.  

Regardless, Wordy Wednesday here at 'The Sunset Won't' is a quote, short passage or verse that I enjoy and I want to pass along to you.  So here is this week's Wordy Wednesday installment:

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'  When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

A Good Cry

Ladies, you know what I am talking about.  Guys, maybe you have seen it.  Every once in awhile a good long cry is necessary.  "Tears can be good, they can cleanse us of our misery," I read in a book once.  

My first problem is this, who wants to cry when other people are around?  My second problem, I don't know if I want to think about all the emotional things that are beginning to overwhelm me.  Am I ready to face it all?  To think about it and either accept it or let it go?

I don't want to have to try and have a pretty cry.  I think I need an ugly cry.  And there is a difference.  Isn't there?  We all know the people who can cry and not look bad.  Those people you just want to smack sometimes.  And then there are those people who cry and they just... well they don't look good.  I can sometimes pretty cry if I am really careful.  Like watching a commercial or news that gets me choked up.  Then I can handle it.  But sometimes you need one of these all consuming cleansing cries.

There is also often a certain protocol that needs to be followed for one of these all cleansing cries.  You know what I mean.  The steps may differ slightly for different women.  But in general I feel safe with these:

            1. The build-up: You know the situation and can feel it building.  You know that the dam soon will break so you get ready.  You put on comfy clothes, find a good spot to curl up in, and get the other necessary items.

           2. The wind-up: You gear up.  You order a pizza, or chinese, or insert comfort food here.  The daiquiris, margaritas, wine, beer etc is ready to be enjoyed.  The ice cream and toppings are standing by.

           3. The start-up: You find a favorite movie.  Maybe its one that reminds you of your situation.  Maybe its an old favorite.  Maybe a sappy one, or a funny one, or a thrilling one.  Maybe its a dvd of a favorite tv show.  I tend to lean towards the romantic comedies, or the tv show BONES.

           4. The main event: It starts.  First you just think about everything in your mind, in your world.  And you feel it.  Your eyes begin to water and you struggle to see through the watery bowl that seems to surround your eyes.  Then one.  Two.  Three tears fall.  Maybe you swipe the first few away.  But then they just keep coming.  The dam might break.  And you cry.  That good, get it all out, emotionally draining yet recharging cry.

          5. The wrap -up: The tears slow to a trickle.  The sobs wracking your body begin to subside.  For me, I then crawl into bed and snuggle down.  I pull the covers up over me, take a deep breath and drift slowly into that wonderfully oblivious thing called sleep.

          6. The pick-up:  You wake up the next day and pull out the coverup for the eyes that may have appeared.  But overall you feel pretty good.  Almost refreshed.  Now that, is a good cry.

Don't get me wrong.  Things aren't THAT bad.  I can see, hear, walk and talk.  My family is healthy and doing well.  I am just experiencing a perfect storm of events.  Maybe instead I will just take that daiquiri, comfort food and movie/tv show.

Have you ever been in need of a serious cry?  

               

I Believe, I Do Believe

Weeks ago I read a post by Mandy at Knowing the Difference called I Believe In.  I thought it was a great idea to blog about some of the things that I believe in.  A way to share them with myself, and with others.

I believe that there is a God who knows me, my transgressions, who forgives me and loves me anyway.  I believe that this God created me for a reason and that He has a purpose for my life and the lives of all of us.  I believe that everything happens for a reason.  Even when those things are bad and it seems that He is cruel.  Down the road I will understand the purpose behind the events in my life.  I believe that the sunrise is a wonderful thing because it is the dawn of a new day that Jesus promised to us.

I believe that every friend in my past, my present and my future brings something to my life.  Every best friend, school friend, work friend and acquaintance adds something to my life.  I believe that I have been blessed to have my family despite our differences and struggles.  Who would I be if not for my family?  I believe that relationships of every kind are important but there is no relationship greater than the relationship with God and the relationship that I have with myself.

I believe that the reason we have rain is so that we can see the beauty in the sun.  So that the rain can nourish the earth and bring forth its beauty.  I believe that the earth is meant to be enjoyed, not destroyed.

I believe that everyone can make a difference.  Everyone has a choice to make someone laugh or cry.  To give a smile or a frown.  I believe that I am a teacher not for the money, not for the title of a teacher, but for the difference, that small difference that I can make in a student's life.

I believe that for every wrong, there is a way to make it right.  For every wrong there is a lesson.  There is a reason we make the choices that we do.  I believe that when we lose, we should never lose the lesson.  I believe we should always remember to remember.  To remember the sunset, the beauty, the love, the life.

I believe that every movie should have a happy ending.  That is why I watch the movie.  I believe that every song tells a story, shares a message even if it may not seem that way.  I believe that a good book can be the perfect ending to a tough day.

I believe that showers are meant to be long.  I believe that car stereos are meant to be played loudly, with the windows down on a sunny day.  I believe that pizza is meant to be enjoyed with an ice cold beer or soda.  I believe that ice cream is a freezer staple.  I believe that vanilla ice cream must always have a topping or two.  I believe that pizza, ice cream and a great friend can make a bad situation feel a little better.  I believe that fires are meant for s'mores.  I believe that grills are meant for a burger on a summer afternoon.

I believe we should say thank you when someone does something for us or shows us kindness.  I believe that respect for others is something that needs to be revived.  I believe that chivalry still exists even if I can't see it.  I believe that people are inherently good.  I believe that we should never deprive anyone of hope, because hope may be all they have to hang on to.

I believe that laughter is the best medicine.  I believe that we all have a something to share with others.  A gift that, big or small, makes a difference.  I believe that beliefs are never ending.

We all believe in something.

I believe that we all need to believe in something.

I believe.


What do you believe in?

          

Wordy Wednesday

It's Wednesday.  For many, it's one of the busier days of the week.  You realize all the work that must be done before Friday.  Maybe you have commitments in the evening that tie you up.  Maybe you are just tired after a couple long days at work.  

Regardless, Wordy Wednesday here at 'The Sunset Won't' is a quote, short passage or verse that I enjoy and I want to pass along to you.  So here is this week's Wordy Wednesday installment:

"I've always believed that doors are meant to be opened.  

That's why they have hinges and knobs.  

You put up a barrier and somebody's going to walk through it.  

It's human nature to want to know what's on the other side.  

And to ignore the obvious catch, doors are there for a reason."

-Defying Gravity-

My Commandments

Woo hoo! I am tackling a very hard thing on my 101 in 1001 list. Number 11 is to make a list of my personal commandments. I first got this idea from the Happiness Project and you can check out the first of Gretchen's commandments here.

When I first started working on this list (a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away) I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had read through many lists on the Happiness Project thread and found some very creative commandments. Some had a theme so I thought that would be fun. And I tried to do it with music lyrics because I love music so much. But then I realized that I was making this too hard. I was taking the wrong thing away from the idea of making personal commandments.

To me, personal commandments are something that I can look at quickly and they will nudge me back into the right direction when I start to veer off course. The goal was Ten Commandments but the first one is pretty big so I wanted to make sure it was there, so I added one more:

1. Be Heather. I think that it is incredibly hard to always be true to yourself. There are so many different things that pressure you to act, feel, look a certain way. This commandment is my first one because it is so important. I am working to be true to myself, my beliefs. I am 'being me.'

2. Dance with God. Let Him Lead. The first part is actually half of a quote I found somewhere that read "Dance with God, he will let the perfect man cut in." Which I loved. And I love the image of dancing with God. Life's a dance, and I love music. The gist of this one for me is that God is faithful, but am I? Do I trust him to lead me in the right direction. Despite what I may think the Holy Spirit does not need my help. So I choose to dance with God and let Him lead me.

3. Let Go of Perfect. What is perfection? Does it even exist? If I were to take a sheet of paper and put 'A' in one corner and 'B' in the opposite one and I had to connect them, I would draw as straight of a line as humanly possible. I need to remember that making squiggles and swirls on the way still gets me from A to B. I need to let go of trying to be perfect.

4. Dig a Little Deeper. Ok this one is a song lyric. "You gotta dig a little deeper, find out who you are. You gotta dig a little deeper, it really ain't that far. When you find out who you are, you'll find out what you need. Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed." Its from the new Disney movie The Princess and the Frog. And it goes well with some of my other commandments. For me this is a reminder not just to dig deeper to figure out who I am, but what do I need. Not what do I want, but what do I need.

5. No Deposit, No Return. If you don't put anything into a savings account you can't get anything out of it. If you don't put effort into what you do, there is no reward. So this commandment is all about putting in the work so I can reap rewards later.

6. Be in Awe. In a book called "Danger in the Shadows" the main character loves flowers and explains it to someone by saying this, "I need the reminder that God loves to make detailed and beautiful things, and that act of creation is itself a sufficient reason to make them. These flowers will live and die here, the majority of them never seen, even though a busy road is less than a mile away." I need to be in awe of the wonder of God and his creation. Of life around me.

7. Remember, don't dwell. Sometimes I lean to heavily on my memories. “Memories are nice little possessions. As long as you don’t ignore the present when you take them out to play," as was written in a book I read awhile ago. I can't forget 'now' while I remember 'then.'

8. Remember Moments Matter. Time passes so quickly. This commandment helps me remember to love life, and to live my life.

9. It Happens. Play On. Two great song titles. Stuff happens. Your car breaks down, you lose a game, you lose a friend. That's life. But I need to Play On. It's always worth it to keep going.

10. Make Footprints. When I leave this world how will I be remembered? I want to make a difference and leave something behind.

11. Care. I think I am a pretty caring person. But I don't show it very well, which is why this commandment is here. I need to show people I care. Tell them. Act like it.

So those are my Personal Commandments. These are the things I try to remember in my daily life. They will change as I change. Somedays I don't need to be reminded. Somedays I need a constant reminder.

** November 2010- I edited my commandments.  I think that they are something that should constantly evolve.  Here is my new list: 1) Be Heather.  2) Dance with God.  Let Him Lead.  3) Let go of perfect.  4) No deposit, no return.  5) Be in awe!  6) Enjoy the ride.  7) Care.  And show you do.  8) Dig a little deeper.  9) Remember, don't dwell.  10) What are you waiting for?**

If you were to give yourself a personal commandment, what would it be? Share below!

A Milestone Reached

Fifty posts!  Holy moley!  (Well technically this is 51, but since my last post was a book review I couldn't really celebrate on that one).

First off I want to thank those of you who follow The Sunset Won't regularly.  Time is precious and I appreciate you taking your time to join me here.  Secondly I want to thank those of you who regularly post comments.  I think its safe to say that every blogger loves to get feedback from their readers and I am no exception.  So thank you!  You, yes you.

I started blogging because I had found some blogs that inspired me.  I have always enjoyed writing, though much of my writing experience has been poetry.  Anyway, I was surprised at how much I truly enjoy writing here at The Sunset Won't each week.  I hope that you are getting things out of reading the posts as  I do from writing them.  Blogging has been a great way to keep me accountable, to inspire me, to challenge myself.

If you are new here, or haven't checked out all the pages feel free to take a look at my list of 101 in 1001, My Happy List,  My Blog Flair, Book Reviews for Thomas Nelson, or read a little bit about me and this blog.

You have helped me reach an amazing milestone.  Fifty (one) posts.  As I continue on my journey to live my life, to choose to be happy and to remember the sunset.

I hope those of you who read here have found something that inspires you to live life.  To love life.  Because the sunset waits for no one.  You may think time waits for you to finish that email, to make that call, to copy those forms.  Perhaps the next thing on your list will wait.  But The Sunset Won't.

Book Review: I Am Hutterite by Mary-Ann Kirkby

I Am Hutterite by Mary-Ann Kirkby is a retelling of the physical, emotional, and spiritual journey taken by a young girl and her family. Choosing to leave the only life they had known, on a Hutterite Colony, to seek freedom in the English World this family had to stand together in order to survive. This memoir was filled with humorous retellings and depictions, touching moments and honest feelings. It's a story of reclaiming your past in order to live in the present. While the author is remembering her Hutterite roots, it is also a story of self-discovery. Something that we can all relate to. It is important that we take a moment to remember those who have come before us, those who have helped shape us into who we are today. It challenged me to take a look into the mirror and rediscover the lives of my ancestors.  

The book was an easy read as I finished it in less than a week. It is a book that you can read for awhile, put down and then pick up again. I think this was one of the easier books to put down because in some places the chapters seemed disconnected from each other. I would recommend this book to those interested in learning more about Colony life, those interested in hearing about self-discovery, and those interested in a beautiful memoir of a faithful life. This book is a window into a world that many do not get to see, which makes it all the more interesting to read. 

Thomas Nelson has been kind enough to offer me a complimentary copy of the book for review.

Oh Happy Day

After enduring a few emotionally challenging days is there anything better than taking a minute to appreciate the little things in life?  As I continue on my journey to complete my 101 in 1001 I am continually amazed at how happy I am working on my list of 101 Things That Make Me Happy list.  As I continue on this crazy journey of life, and you, yes you, continue to read right along with me may you always remember that there is something in every dreary day that can make you happy.

It might be seeing a little kid outside playing.  It might be hearing an old favorite on the radio.  Maybe you are taking a nap and you flip to the cool side of the pillow.  Maybe the sun comes out from behind a cloud.  It's the little things that can often make us happy.  But its the details, running around, little things that we think we have to do that often make us take life a little too seriously.  We need to remember that the sunset waits for no one.  Not even you.

So what makes you happy?  What little things bring a smile to your face?  A ray of sunshine to a busy, hectic day?  Here are the recent additions to My Happy List:

41. Sun showers.  You look outside and seen the shining rays of the warm sun.  Then all of the sudden you hear it.  You hear it before you see it.  The gentle pit pat of the rain drops as they hit the ground.  Knowing that the sun can still shine through the rain makes me happy.

42. The progression of a rain.  It starts with a single rain drop.  The a few more.  It's a small shower, then it begins to build.  You know there is more to come from the overcast clouds and the smell that has lingered in the air.  The sprinkle turns to a shower.  The shower to a storm that slowly builds.  Hearing the progression of rain as it builds makes me happy.

43. S'mores around a fire.  Stories are shared, laughs are had.  But making s'mores around a fire makes me happy.

44. The perfect marshmallow.  You put the gooey marshmallow on the stick.  You hold it a certain distance from a hot coal of wood near the edge of the fire.  You wait.  Gently rotating the marshmallow 360 degrees.  You know that if you wait patiently golden brown perfection awaits.  Making the perfect marshmallow, and eating it, makes me happy. 

45. Watching a fire burn in a pit.  There is something intensely calming about watching a fire in a fireplace or fire pit burn.  It starts as a small flame that moves to consume all the wood that it can.  But you know you are safe because it is confined.  The glow of the embers, the warmth of the flames, the crackle of the wood all pull you in.  You can get lost in simply staring at the flames.  Thinking back on your day or completely clearing your mind.  Sitting next to a fireplace or pit and watching it burn makes me happy. 

46. Making the first driving tracks down a snowy street.  You wake up in the middle of winter and look outside.  There are a few inches of freshly fallen snow.  Yes, this means you have to bundle yourself up until you feel like an eskimo to trudge out to your car to clear it off.  You have to start up the engine and let it run for a few minutes so that when you are ready to leave you at least can enjoy the warmth of the car on your way to your destination.  But when you back out of that driveway, or pull away from the curb and you are the first car to make tracks in the snow.  There is something awesome in that.  Like you are making your mark.  Making those first tracks down a snowy street makes me happy. 

47. Freshly mowed grass.  For some reason I really like the smell of freshly mowed grass.  I like to look at the pattern that the lawn mower has made as it tames the grass.  Spring and summer are here and you know it because the smell is in the air.  So for some odd reason, freshly mowed grass makes me happy.

48. Friends.  We have lots of different types of relationships when it comes to friends.  The funny one that we can count on for a laugh.  The serious one who we go to for deep conversation.  The fun one that makes every situation fun.  The reliable one who you can always count on.  The listener, the encourager, the quick chat, the older friend, the younger friend, the opposite sex friend.  There are many different kinds.  Sometimes on person fills multiple roles.  Sometimes relationships are strained and you might not speak, other times you talk every day.  But friends, new and old, make me happy.

49. Knowing what someone is talking about.  Perfect example.  Last night I was driving with a couple people and Person A was describing to Person B a commercial about a guy driving a minivan and being made fun of.  Point is I knew exactly what commercial Person A was referring to.  Maybe someone is talking about a song, tv show, philosopher, historical figure, crayola color.  You know what they mean when they are describing something to another person or group.  You feel smart, educated, 'in the know.'  Knowing what someone is talking about makes me happy.

50. Being home alone.  While sometimes we all enjoy company and talking.  There are times when the hum of the refrigerator, the birds outside the window, the occasional creaks of the house are all the company you need.  Well those and perhaps a book or movie.  Sometimes we just need to unwind.  In those moments, of chosen seclusion we can recharge.  Being home alone so I can recharge makes me happy.

Wordy Wednesday

It's Wednesday.  For many, it's one of the busier days of the week.  You realize all the work that must be done before Friday.  Maybe you have commitments in the evening that tie you up.  Maybe you are just tired after a couple long days at work.  

Regardless, Wordy Wednesday here at 'The Sunset Won't' is a quote, short passage or verse that I enjoy and I want to pass along to you.  So here is this week's Wordy Wednesday installment:

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

It isn’t just death we have to grieve. It’s life. It’s loss. It’s change.

And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. 

The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

That’s how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can’t breathe, that’s how you survive.

By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won’t feel this way. It won’t hurt this much.

Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way.

So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.

The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can’t control it.

The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes.

And let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think you’re past it, it starts all over again.

And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

-Grey's Anatomy-

Why?

I have said it before and I will say it again.  Music is a huge part of my life.  And on a day like today, when words in my mind cannot do life justice, it is in these moments when I turn to song.  To lyrics that reach into your heart and hold on.  Leaving behind hope, and perhaps a window into understanding.  

365 days.  52 weeks.  1 year.  I remember where I was standing when I got the news.  One year ago my Uncle took his own life.  One year ago today.  While I miss him, I know that he is in a better place.  A place that I can only imagine.  So here are some of the songs that I remember listening to, almost on repeat, 365 days ago.

It must have been place so dark, you couldn't feel the light, 
reaching for you through that stormy cloud.  

Now here we are gathered in our little hometown, 

this can't be the way you meant to draw a crowd. 

Why, thats what I keep asking.  Is there anything I could have said or done?  

I had no clue you were masking a troubled soul.  

God only knows what went wrong, 

and why you would leave the stage in the middle of a song.

There's no comprehending.  Who am I to try to judge and explain?  

But I do have one burning question.  

Who told you life, wasn't worth the fight?  

They were wrong.  They lied.  And now you're gone.  And we cry.  

Cause its not like you to walk away in the middle of a song.  

-Rascal Flatts

And his family gathers round on a piece of Hallowed ground.
Their hearts are heavy with their loss as the tears fall from their eyes 

there's one who'll always sympathize.
God only cries for the living because it's the living that are left to carry on.
And all the angels up in Heaven they're not grieving because they're gone.
There's a smile on their faces because they're in a better place than they've ever known.
God only cries for the living because it's the living that are so far from home.

-Diamond Rio

And with your final heartbeat kiss the world goodbye.  
Then go in peace and laugh on glory's side.  

And fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus, fly to Jesus and live.

-Chris Rice

There's one more angel in heaven.  There's one more star in the sky.

-Andrew Lloyd Weber 

Take today to remember that the sunset waits for no one.  Tell the people you love, that you love them.  Take a minute, close your eyes and take a deep breath.  Think of the all the blessings that you have in your life.  Live life, love life.