Negative Nancy's in the Workplace

There are moments in life, Oprah would call them A-ha moments, some call them moments of epiphany, or awakening.  Whatever it is you choose to call them I'm often jealous of those who so clearly have these moments.  Moments that they see something in a new way that clicks for them.

I had one of these "lightbulb moments" yesterday.  I work at a middle school (low income) in an intervention classroom.  I teach next door to another intervention teacher.  We share the same schedule as we work with different grade levels.  Because we teach intervention classes we sometimes have behavior issues in our classes.  So there are some days that are rough.  Some days when you question if you could possibly be doing ANYTHING right.

Sometimes you talk to other teachers about it.  As my neighboring teacher and I share a schedule we often talk in between classes or during our preps.  This is Neighbor Teacher's first year at a middle school so it's quite the transition.  But yesterday as I was driving home I realized that this teacher complains a lot about their students.  And because I'm with them and sometimes feel similarly, I do too.  Every day is not bad, so I have no idea what my problem is.  

I was allowing myself to get sucked into the negativity.  This is the very reason I've always avoided teacher's lounges.  Because I don't want to be in that environment.  But by commiserating with this teacher I'm focusing on the bad, not the good.  The frustrating, not the uplifting.

Yes, there are absolutely horrible days.  But there are moments in the day that can remind me exactly why I became a teacher.  It might only happen a time or two in a week.  Or maybe it happens once every day.  But it happens.  Good happens.  Fun happens.  Learning happens.

Today, a student was reading a short story on the Hindenburg.  She was asking questions and then on her own, stopped the computer story and went online to google the Hindenburg.  How awesome is that!?  Then she didn't know some of the words and opened the dictionary to look them up.  That is why I teach.

But I need to be wary.  We all do.  Of the sometimes Negative Nancy's that work alongside us.  And perhaps we need to help them become a Realist Ronnie.  Because in reality some days suck, but some days are awesome.  

And who couldn't use a little more awesome in their day.

Book Review: The Accidental Bride by Denise Hunter

From the publisher: Two high-school sweethearts, a wedding reenactment, and one absent-minded preacher. Is it a recipe for disaster or a chance for a new beginning?

Shay Brandenberger is a survivor. She's lived through a crazy childhood, a failed marriage, and single parenthood-with her confidence intact.

But not for long. Because when Shay participates in her town's Founder's Day wedding reenactment, she finds herself face-to-face with the one man who takes her breath away and leaves her weak in the knees: Travis McCoy.

Travis is back in town after years way on the rodeo circuit. His one regret in life is breaking Shay's heart when they were high-school sweethearts. He's determined to get it right this time.

So when their Founder's Day "marriage" is accidentally made official, Travis seizes the day. Can Shay put aside her pride to let Travis help her, or will their accidental marriage be dissolved before it can begin?

My thoughts: It was an okay book.  I didn't love it.  Perhaps because I found Shay to be a little irritating.  Granted she's been hurt before, but she was rude, stubborn, selfish, and unforgiving.  I've never experienced the things that this character has, so I can't imagine the pain this character would have been feeling.  But at some point it got a little frustrating.  I can't say much more on this point without giving things away so I will stop there.

I liked that this book tied into the first in the series A Cowboy's Touch.  It was fun revisiting Abigail, Wade, Aunt Lucy and Maddy.   Many of the other characters in the book were enjoyable.  I just had a few issues with the leads.

It was hard for me to swallow that this man pined for this woman for 14 years and then when he accidentally marries her he puts up with the behavior she hands out.  I did like how the book addressed not trying to do things so that others can see, or to impress them.  It's a message that I think a lot of women and girls need to be reminded of from time to time.


Would I recommend the book? It was an okay book as I mentioned before.  I'm not sure it's one that I would reread again.  As an ebook it is one I will keep because it isn't taking up valuable real estate on my sole bookshelf.  If you're looking for a book about first loves, missed chances, second chances, being hurt than this may be for you.

I would give this book 3/5 stars.

(I was given a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes and am under no obligation to provide a certain review.  All opinions in this review are my own.)

I learned a lesson over the last two days.  A big one.

I'm a people pleaser and have been for as long as I can remember.  I would rather everyone else be happy, that me.  I would rather listen to everyone else's ideas and go with one of them, than share my dissenting opinion.

This has caused some feelings that have started to fester lately.  Like a small paper cut on your finger.  One so small you can't see it.  And then meetings, discussions, conversations, get togethers each one is like putting a little salt on that cut.  A little antibacterial gel that stings.  And then it hurts more than it did before.  You're aware of it now.  But, because I don't like conflict I put a bandaid on it and try to move on. I keep typing, keep writing, keep working.

But that cut is still there.

And it still hurts a little.

This past week something came up that caused a lot of salt to be rubbed into that cut.  And I had an enlightening conversation with my mom last night.

In talking about this situation I was saying how in this one instance I really can't stay quiet.  I really needed to say something.  And perhaps cause a little conflict.  I was thinking out loud.  Really, for part of that conversation, my mother wasn't even needed.  But because I didn't want to stir the pot, I wasn't sure that my feelings and gut reaction was correct and appropriate to the situation.  And I needed a sounding board.

At the end of my spilling the situation, and sharing what I thought my reaction should be, my mom replied with something along the lines of, "You can do that Heather.  You should stand up for yourself."

'But I'm a people pleaser.  It's hard for me.'

"I know it is.  So be careful.  Because sometimes when you do decide to stand up for yourself and share your feelings you can get a little like your brother (who has autism).  You go and go and go.  Because you've finally shared what you want to you have trouble stopping and hearing the other person respond.  You get afraid that if you stop and hear their response you will cave.  You won't be able to stand up for yourself anymore.  And you can get a little defensive sounding in those situations."

I couldn't believe how accurately she had described it.  And I was shocked she understood.  And could verbalize it.  Because I couldn't.  And I hadn't thought about it until that exact moment.

I'm still digesting.  Still processing what that means.  But I know that I need to start advocating for myself.  Even if people don't agree.  If I feel like I'm not being heard, I need to say it again.  Say it louder.  Because even if people don't agree with me, they've heard me.

Perhaps it's my people-pleasing nature, or a deeply hidden need to be needed, or valued, or appreciated. (Really, everyone needs to be appreciated.  So tell someone you appreciate them at some point today.  That's your homework from this middle school teacher.)   Who knows?

But what I do know, is that when you have that gut reaction.  That light inside your head that says this is wrong.  Or you can't do this.  Or this is what you need to do.

You need to listen.

You need to listen.

And I need to start believing.  Start believing in me.

Yes, this small thing caused deep thinking.  And taught me a lesson.  One that I may not be ready to fully learn yet.  But, it's in the planner.

Remember life is short.  So think about your dreams a little harder.  

Reach a little higher.  Laugh a little louder.  Love a little stronger.  

Because many things in life can wait... The Sunset Won't!

Wordy Wednesday

Wednesdays are often the busiest day of my week.  It's a reminder of all that is left to do during the work week.  There's work, homework, church, meetings, gathering... all in one day.  It's a lot.  On Wednesdays I used to share quotes or passages that I really enjoyed, but I fell off the wagon.  I'm going to start again...

Today's quotes comes from a few posters that I've created, or have purchased for my classroom.  Enjoy:

30 years from now, it won't matter what shoes you wore, 

how your hair looked, or the jeans you bought.  

What will matter is what you learned and how you used it.

You are not finished when you lose.  You are finished when you quit.

Read a book... and you unlock the world.

Remember life is short.  So think about your dreams a little harder.  

Reach a little higher.  Laugh a little louder.  Love a little stronger.  

Because many things in life can wait... The Sunset Won't!

A Tug of War

Image from: http://alphamom.com/your-life/the-in-law-tug-of-war/

There is a tug of war going on.

Team one's captain is What Is.  Behind him is Family, Friends, Comfort, Safe, and The Same.

Team two's captain is What Could Be.  Standing strong behind her are Dreams, Adventure, Change, The Unknown, and Chance.

It's a seemingly endless tug of war.  One that goes back and forth.  There are days that I really want team two to win.  That the pull of What Could Be, the strength of What-if seems to overpower me.  Dreams seems to pull me in.

But then Team One seems like the easier of the two teams.  What Is is easy.  Family and Friends are always with him.  Comfort and Safe are not far behind.  There is no questioning, no worry, no wondering.  The Same is not far away either.

Sometimes life is a big 'ol tug of war.  With What Is and What Could Be pulling at you.  Calling you in both directions.  If you're not careful you could be torn.  And that tear can travel with you for a long time.  Reminding you of that struggle.

I'm still not totally sure which side I want to win.  But I know that I'll probably cheer for the What Is team.  Because What Is is much less scary than the What Could Be.  But What Could Be keeps calling my name...

Remember life is short.  So think about your dreams a little harder.  

Reach a little higher.  Laugh a little louder.  Love a little stronger.  

Because many things in life can wait... The Sunset Won't!

Book Review: The Road Trip by Jo Lynn Crozier

From the Publisher: Liz always felt God beside her, but she never imagined she would be in his passenger seat!  In this humorous, heartfelt adventure story, God invites and ordinary woman to travel with him on a life-changing road trip.  Along the way, they encounter fantastic beings, heavenly houses, and extraordinary communities that Liz could never have imagined.  But this is no vacation.  God has a lot to teach Liz, and behind all the whimsy is a deeper spiritual message with real-life applications.  Buckle up and join God and Liz on the journey of a lifetime.

My Thoughts: At first I couldn't decide if this book was fiction, non-fiction, autobiographical or a devotional.  I couldn't decide what I thought of the book.  Did I like it?  Did I not like it?  Did I want to keep reading or put it back on the bookshelf?  I'm really glad that I decided to give this book a solid try.  The Road Trip takes the reader on a wonderful journey to the Comfort Zone, to a fork in the road where you choose between Decisionville and Confusionville, and so many more stops (that would just ruin it if I mentioned).

As I said, I wasn't sure about this book at first.  But sitting here writing this with my copy sitting next to me I have to laugh at the dog eared pages (something I never do to books, I usually try to just make a note somewhere else).  But there were so many things I connected with.  And as I walked out the door to work, or a doctor's appointment, or even to walk on the treadmill I grabbed the book, stuffed it in my bag and headed out the door.  I took it everywhere and when I had a chance to sit and read I dove right in.

I was inspired.  Inspired to take another look at my faith.  To look inside myself.  And my relationship with God.  To remember that life is a road trip.  That there are many stops along the way, but that I don't have to be the driver.  There were lessons in the pages of this book I didn't realize I had learned, and didn't realized I still had to learn.

Would I Recommend This Book?  I'm still not sure how I would classify this book and am so glad that that isn't my job.  It's a bit of fiction, mixed with experiences from Ms. Crozier's life, along with material that would make for a wonderful devotion.  It was an interesting book that was a easy read.  As a youth group leader it's something I could see using with high schoolers because the writing is accessible.   I would rate this book a 3 1/2 out of 5 stars.

I was provided with a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes.  I am under no obligation to provide a positive review.

(Books are rated according to the following scale:

 5 stars= A definite favorite, will be re-read again and again, and permanently placed on my bookshelf.

 4 stars= A pretty good book, one that will be re-read eventually, placed on the bookshelf.

 3 stars= An average to good book, that may or may not be read again, probably has a place in my library.

 2 stars= A not liked book, I wouldn't read it again, and wouldn't have a place in my library.

 1 star = A book I really didn't enjoy, wouldn't read again, would not keep in my library.)

12 Changes: February Introduction

12 Changes in 12 Months, that's my goal.  12 little changes to a brand new new and improved me.

One month down, eleven to go.  Last month was about working out, it was the physical part of me.  This month is about the spiritual part of me:


February: Spend time every day in conversation with God.

Whether it's reading his word, spending time praying, listening, reading a devotional something.  But every day I will find time to spend in conversation with God.  Finding that rope tethered to him and holding on I think is going to be a wonderful way for me to stay anchored.

Anchored in life.  In faith.  In knowing who I am and who I'm going to be.  What I'm doing.  And why I'm doing it.  But I need that communication.

So I will pick up that tin can with a string that goes out my window and up to heaven, knowing He's got the can on the other line.  Anytime.  And every time I need him.  And even when I don't think I need him, He's still there.  Waiting to talk.  Waiting to listen.  To guide.

Remember life is short.  So think about your dreams a little harder.  

Reach a little higher.  Laugh a little louder.  Love a little stronger.  

Because many things in life can wait... The Sunset Won't!

Book Review: Smitten by Colleen Coble and Others

From the Publisher: 
Four friends devise a plan to turn Smitten, Vermont, into the country's premier romantic getaway-and each finds her own true love along the way.

With Smitten Lumber closing, residents wonder if their town can stay afloat. Then four friends and local business owners-Natalie, Julia, Shelby, and Reese--decide the town is worth saving. How will they do it? They'll turn Smitten into a honeymoon destination!

As Natalie, Julia, Shelby, and Reese work to save the town, each discovers romance in her own life. Meanwhile, the faith of a little child reminds the whole town what it means to have real faith in the God who is the always and forever Love.

Discover a novel written by four of Christian fiction's most popular romance novelists- friends in real life who've drawn an amazing story of four friends! Includes a Reading Group Guide as well as "Conversation over Coffee with the Authors".

My Thoughts: First I want to say that I really enjoy Colleen Coble have started reading Denise Hunter stories recently.  I'm not sure if my expectations for books is getting to high because I'm an avid reader or because I'm a reading teacher but I was a little disappointed with this book.  While I liked that it was 4 stories about friends (and women business owners!), I was a little disappointed with the plot and character development.  I'm sure it's hard to write a novella and get everything in there you want to as a writer.  But I was hoping for a little more.  Don't get me wrong, it was still a good book.  A fast and easy read.

I can't comment too much on the characters because I couldn't really connect strongly to any one of them in particular.  It didn't pull me in like many books can.

Would I Recommend This Story: This is the kind of book that would be good for a traveler who needs something on a plane, a beach read, or a stormy weather day of reading.  It's not something I would highly recommend, but it's not awful either.  I would give it 2 out of 5 stars.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book for review purposes and am under no obligation to provide a positive review.

12 Changes: January Recap

I am participating in a 12 Changes in 12 Months challenge.  12 small changes to make a whole new, better, healthier me by 2013.  My first post in this series was an introduction to what I am doing.

Let's review how January went... in all honesty...

January: Workout at LEAST once a week.  Complete physical therapy exercises four times per week.

Let's say that I started with the absolute best of intentions.  But man, did January fly by or what?!  Thinking about it I did walk on my treadmill at least once a week (except this week, which is still in progress).  So I'm still okay.  But I did slack on my physical therapy exercises.  And my body feels it.  It hurts.

I was impressed with myself that the interval training I've tried I actually made it 18 minutes.  Which for me, was HUGE.  I walked two-ish minutes and then ran for at least a minute and repeated that cycle.  Depending on the music I was listening to I may have run a little longer.

The times I walked I did it at a pace of 3 mph, so in 20 minutes I had walked a mile.  I've done that a few times.  I was tired by the end but not exhausted like I was with the interval training.

So I need to do better will do better in the next month.  Because the point of these 12 changes is that they build.  They continue to grow and new habits are formed.

My goal for continued and improved success: I'm going to continue with the 1x a week working out on the treadmill.  I'm going to try to continue walking and perhaps throw in a bonus workout of running twice a month.  That may seem small, but I have no doubt I will put it off until the last two days of the month if I let myself.  Small changes.  Small changes that will build.

Stay tuned for my February change!

Remember life is short.  So think about your dreams a little harder.  

Reach a little higher.  Laugh a little louder.  Love a little stronger.  

Because many things in life can wait... The Sunset Won't!