Ladies, you know what I am talking about. Guys, maybe you have seen it. Every once in awhile a good long cry is necessary. "Tears can be good, they can cleanse us of our misery," I read in a book once.
My first problem is this, who wants to cry when other people are around? My second problem, I don't know if I want to think about all the emotional things that are beginning to overwhelm me. Am I ready to face it all? To think about it and either accept it or let it go?
I don't want to have to try and have a pretty cry. I think I need an ugly cry. And there is a difference. Isn't there? We all know the people who can cry and not look bad. Those people you just want to smack sometimes. And then there are those people who cry and they just... well they don't look good. I can sometimes pretty cry if I am really careful. Like watching a commercial or news that gets me choked up. Then I can handle it. But sometimes you need one of these all consuming cleansing cries.
There is also often a certain protocol that needs to be followed for one of these all cleansing cries. You know what I mean. The steps may differ slightly for different women. But in general I feel safe with these:
1. The build-up: You know the situation and can feel it building. You know that the dam soon will break so you get ready. You put on comfy clothes, find a good spot to curl up in, and get the other necessary items.
2. The wind-up: You gear up. You order a pizza, or chinese, or insert comfort food here. The daiquiris, margaritas, wine, beer etc is ready to be enjoyed. The ice cream and toppings are standing by.
3. The start-up: You find a favorite movie. Maybe its one that reminds you of your situation. Maybe its an old favorite. Maybe a sappy one, or a funny one, or a thrilling one. Maybe its a dvd of a favorite tv show. I tend to lean towards the romantic comedies, or the tv show BONES.
4. The main event: It starts. First you just think about everything in your mind, in your world. And you feel it. Your eyes begin to water and you struggle to see through the watery bowl that seems to surround your eyes. Then one. Two. Three tears fall. Maybe you swipe the first few away. But then they just keep coming. The dam might break. And you cry. That good, get it all out, emotionally draining yet recharging cry.
5. The wrap -up: The tears slow to a trickle. The sobs wracking your body begin to subside. For me, I then crawl into bed and snuggle down. I pull the covers up over me, take a deep breath and drift slowly into that wonderfully oblivious thing called sleep.
6. The pick-up: You wake up the next day and pull out the coverup for the eyes that may have appeared. But overall you feel pretty good. Almost refreshed. Now that, is a good cry.
Don't get me wrong. Things aren't THAT bad. I can see, hear, walk and talk. My family is healthy and doing well. I am just experiencing a perfect storm of events. Maybe instead I will just take that daiquiri, comfort food and movie/tv show.
Have you ever been in need of a serious cry?