I thought I wanted to move. To get away from what I feel 'defines' me. You grow up surrounded by expectations and you rise to meet them. I feel like I grew up fast. I often feel 'older' than my years. So my thinking was that if I moved, I could start over. Not totally reinvent myself, but do a little tweaking that I don't feel like I can do here. But then...
... I got involved at my church with the high school youth. I love it. I love the kids and I really enjoy working with the other leaders. I am really liking the direction the Youth Group is going. So I don't know if I want to leave. As soon as I started to feel this way I decided to email the school district of the last application I have yet to hear from, near where I live.
I got an email back saying there was no opening. Translation: either they filled it and didn't tell me, or the teacher decided not to leave, and they didn't tell me. I was devastated. That was my last hope of staying in the area. So I had a bit of a pity party with my friend Hagan Daz. It was a good time. I had faith, have faith, that I will end up where I am supposed to. But that jar of patience is getting mighty low. So late that night I took out my bible and searched through some of the devotions and found these:
Both the steps and stops of our lives are ordered by the Lord.
The important thing is for us to follow where he leads.
Don't mess up your life with do-it-yourself projects when God has promised the very best for you.
I realized that I need to just take a step back. Have a little faith. Eventually the jar of patience will be refilled. I was trying to make my own path without help. He has a plan for me (though a sneak peak would be greatly appreciated!) and I need to wait. At some point all will be revealed. That perhaps this stop in my life has some meaning behind it. There is a purpose to my waiting.
The next morning I found a middle school position opening nearby. I would prefer high school, but hey, beggars can't be choosers. This morning I had a pre-screening interview with a school district in Virginia. A LONG way from home. But I love when I have visited the East Coast. The conversation went really well. Who knows what that means. It sounds like they interview a lot of people. But the women told me the phone interview does put me ahead of the curve.
So now, I wait. And wait. And wait some more. Staring at that jar of patience as it empties. I stand waiting for a replacement jar. I hope and pray that a job will be offered to me soon. I want to teach. I want to get in the classroom and work with students. I loved my student teaching experience, and all the subbing I did. This is the career for me. Now I just need a fantastic school district to see that!
Remember to live your life the best you can. Tell the people you love, that you love them. Take a minute to enjoy the day. Little things in life can wait, the sunset won't.
That's such a difficult place to be in life: torn between wanting to go out and try something new, but not wanting to leave the people you love behind. The Bible can (and always does) encourage me when I'm low on patience, courage, faith, etc. I always read Proverbs. Good stuff.ReplyDelete
Good luck on the job, and hope you don't have to wait much longer!