I don't like swimming. I know that swimming is something fun for many. But for some reason I always find reasons to get out of it. I tell you this not because I conquered the pool this week. But because lately, I've been drowning.
I feel as though I swim as hard as I can to the surface, but I just go deeper. Like I'm being pulled under.
Vacation Bible School just ended. It was a four week camp, lots of fun. A blast. I was in charge of the registrations, money, any organizational aspect. Me. Which I enjoyed, for the most part. At the same time I am taking two grad school classes online. Job searching, and receiving no after no after no. I've been struggling with some esteem things, weight things. There are other things, but I don't intend this to be a place where I pout and whine.
The point is, I felt overwhelmed. Last week, I sobbed in my room. Thursday I had an anxiety attack.
So today, I slept in after a late night, until almost eleven. Late for me. Then my mom asked me to accompany her to a local festival today in a nearby town. We went, and it was lots of fun. We walked the street, bought a few goodies. I even bought an antique.
As we drive home, I thank my mom for inviting me. And her reply, "You're welcome. I thought you needed to get out. Get fresh air. Get away from your books."
First, I was so glad that she understood. Second, I realized that I have taken on a lot. Lots of things going on. Lots of disappointments. But there are a lot of good things too. And I once again need to remind myself, that in the midst of the chaos, the business of my schedule, as I work through a to-do list that never ends...
I need to stop... And take time for me. Time to recharge. Because it's the recharging that gets you through that final lap. That gets you to the surface.