Cover up, foundation, blush, eye curler for lashes, eye shadow (usually more than one color), eye liner, mascara, lipstick, chapstick. Up until I went away to college I could count on one hand the number of people to see me without any make up at all.
A couple weeks ago I was watching In Plain Sight and there was a voice over where the main character said this:
The makeup comes off and all that you're left with, is exactly who you are.
Exactly who you are. And as I thought about it, perhaps that's part of what makeup is all about. Women trying to change their reflection in the mirror, if only temporarily. Am I hiding who I am? Literally, perhaps, but not really. Figuratively, absolutely.
It's hard for me to be me. I don't always even know who that is sometimes. But I try. I attempt to turn off the perception filter that I surround myself with (side note: LOVE Doctor Who!). I try to not hide who I am so much. I try to be more honest with people.
A couple weeks ago I was a co-leader for a high school mission trip. It was a challenge for me. Spiritually, physically, emotionally challenging. And I loved it. There were several occasions where I would shower at night, and only put on a little foundation and then head down to be with the group. And there were a few times where I told my co-leaders that I wasn't comfortable with something, or didn't want to do something.
Late one evening as the kids had gone to bed and others were out running an errand, I talked to one of them about a struggle I was having with someone. The next day I admitted I was in quite the funk the day before. I was exhausted and couldn't keep the make up on anymore. It was impossible for me.
When apologizing for the mood I felt like I was in someone said, "You're not in a bad mood. You're really tired. I've known you long enough to know that this is Heather when she's really tired."
So what did I learn? That sometimes, it's safe to take off the makeup. That there are people out there who see past it anyway. And are still there. So my goal is to start taking off the makeup, metaphorically speaking. Because I still love my foundation, mascara and black honey lip gloss too much to give them up for good.
Do your best to live your life, love others, forgive, be thankful, be in awe.
Moments are precious, many things can wait... The Sunset Won't.
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