As I write this I am soaking up Vitamin D on the patio of my duplex. With a pint on my right, music playing in the background and a grill heating it up I wonder if it could be any better at this moment.
I'm perfectly content in this moment.
A feeling I don't really think I've had in quite some time.
As I poured myself a beverage and decided to sit outside I felt this urge to open up my blog. Perhaps partly because I shared it's existence with a new person over the weekend I felt the need to check up on it.
It was then that I noticed all the book reviews of late.
While I am an avid reader, my intention was never for this space to fill with reviews of books. (Though they aren't going anywhere for awhile, so hang in there!)
The purpose, the hope, the direction was that The Sunset Won't would be a place to learn lessons. To discover myself. To write.
To be happy.
To live in the moment.
Living in the moment is hard. It's scary... maybe even terrifying. But my life can no longer be sustained on a diet of what ifs, what could be's, what should be done and what never was. I need to step out from the shadows and into the light. To take off the black that blends into the background and throw on some bright blue or red standing up and say I'm here! I am alive! I'm living!
While it sounds well and good, and beautiful. Life is hard. And knowing what my life diet could be isn't really helpful when the Emissary of Expectation, Duchess of Doubt and the Warden of Who-Do-You-Think-You-Are stand in front of you. Blocking your way. Reminding you of what you should do, what you can't do and why you aren't good enough to do it.
So I stand. Waiting. Trying to push aside these ne'er-do-wells in hopes that better companions find me. Like the Harbinger of Hope, the President of Possibilities and the Ambassador of Anything's Possible.
Today is a good day. In this moment I am happy. I know that sometimes those moments can be fleeting. But this moment. This one moment in time and space. I'm going to hold on for all that it's worth.
There are many things in life that can wait.
But soaking up the sunshine, relaxing,
and The Sunset Won't.