Here are some of my favorite things that my students have said over the last few weeks (I figured it's Monday, we could use a laugh):
If the underground railroad was so secret, why do people know so much about it today?
We're going to be some bad parents. My generation.
He hits me. Ow Char-lay!
Ms. ****, what happened to your hand?
My cat scratched me.
Scratch it back!
(A students voice was cracking): Oh guys, he's finally becoming a man!
I'm not lying. I just mislead you.
Ms. ****, how do you spell e'erybody?
So you have high perspectives for this class?
I have what?
You just said you have high perspectives for us or something?
Do you mean standards? I have high standards for you?
Girl: Ahh, I'm the only girl in here today!
Excuse me? What am I?
Boy #1: You're not a girl Ms. ****, you're a woman.
Boy #2: Yeah, that's different.
Ms. ****, what would you do if I was your kid? (Showing me his grades)
Because you have all F's.
Oh... what would you do if I stole something.
"Tommy" wake up. You need to be reading.
Why can't I just sleep? I need sleep, right?