Sunday, May 26, 2013

Labels and Battles

The sun'll come out, tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun.
Just thinking about, tomorrow,
Clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow,
Til there's none.

While I love musicals, and this song is a classic, I wonder if the writers and composers really knew that they were talking about.  I sat down this morning and opened my laptop wanting to write, when the song popped into my head.

I chuckled to myself a bit because I wish it were that easy.  I wish that I, that anyone, could just close there eyes, wake up the next day and the cobwebs and sorrow were gone.  Wiped away.  Wiped clean.

There are times that I wonder what my life would be like if I'd never been diagnosed with depression.  

We talk to our kids about not putting labels on people.  We talk about not wanting society label us.  We talk about wanting to take the power away from labels.  But to me, depression still feels like a huge neon label slapped right onto my forehead.  

A label that says: This girl is depressed.  Symptoms include but not limited to sadness, low self-esteem, questioning of relationships, desire to seclude oneself away, body issues, feelings of loneliness.

I have to remind myself, especially lately, that this is not all that I am.  

That I am a warrior.  

Everyday I get up, pick up my sword and shield (which sometimes takes the shape of a pen and paper or a keyboard and screen) and do battle.  I do battle with the clouds.  With the doubts, the fears, the darkness.

Some days I win.  Some days it's a draw.  And there are some days where I lose.  

But this isn't a one day skirmish.  It's a war.  One I plan on winning.  And winning.  And winning.

Remember, many things in life can wait.
But The Sunset Won't.

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